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Thread: Funny one liners

  1. #11
    Ranger Ehecatl's Avatar
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    A polar bear walks up to a bar and says "I'd like a vodka and............................................... .................................................. .................................. tonic please".

    The barman asks "Why the long pause"?

    The polar bear says "I was borm with them"
    "If you were to ask me what I consider to be my finest achievement, I could answer the question without hesitation: teaching." ~ Raymond Blanc.

  2. #12
    Tribesman Thumbcrusher's Avatar
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    I had amnesia once - maybe twice!
    If there are no women around and a man says something, is he still wrong?

  3. #13
    Tribesman Thumbcrusher's Avatar
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    Have you heard about the evil group of men who control all the world’s cheese? The hallouminati!
    If there are no women around and a man says something, is he still wrong?

  4. #14
    Bushman jbrown14's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thumbcrusher View Post
    I had amnesia once - maybe twice!
    HEY! I did have amnesia once. People ask me what it's like, and I just say, "I have no idea..."

    Guess I should conrtibute:

    "My dog, Minton, ate two shuttlecocks yesterday. Bad Minton."
    "Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time..." ~Steven Wright~

  5. #15
    Trapper Stevie B's Avatar
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    Two parrots on perch.
    One says to the other...do you smell fish?
    When life gets you down...Hammock!
    It's amazing how far away the world can feel when you're suspended just two foot off the ground!

  6. #16
    Trapper Stevie B's Avatar
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    Two fish in a tank.
    One says to the other...do you know how to drive this thing?
    When life gets you down...Hammock!
    It's amazing how far away the world can feel when you're suspended just two foot off the ground!

  7. #17
    Trapper Stevie B's Avatar
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    Two snowmen in a field.
    One says to the other....do you smell carrots?
    When life gets you down...Hammock!
    It's amazing how far away the world can feel when you're suspended just two foot off the ground!

  8. #18
    Hobo
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    Quote Originally Posted by jbrown14 View Post
    HEY! I did have amnesia once. People ask me what it's like, and I just say, "I have no idea..."

    Guess I should conrtibute:

    "My dog, Minton, ate two shuttlecocks yesterday. Bad Minton."
    Ha, made me laugh looking at my Labrador who probably would eat a shuttlecock given half a chance!

  9. #19
    Tribal Elder Tigger004's Avatar
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    Particle Physics - Gives me a Hadron.
    Campfires are best shared with friends.

  10. #20
    Ent FishyFolk's Avatar
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    Q: How do trees access the internet?
    A: They log in.
    Victory awaits the one, that has everything in order - luck we call it
    Defeat is an absolute consequense for the one that have neglected to do the necessary preparations - bad luck we call it
    (Roald Amundsen)

    Bumbling Bushcraft on Youtube
    Nordisk Bushcraft - The Nordic bushcraft blog and forum

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